This parody was written after a weekly meeting that usually runs for a long time ended pretty quickly. With the unexpected time on my hands I suppose I could have gotten some work done, but instead I wrote this.

(To the tune of “American Pie” by Don McLean)

A long, long time ago

I can still remember how those projects used to make me smile.
And, I knew that my specs were right
So coding them would be no fright,
And management was happy for a while.

But when K2 came on the scene
Just one year turned to umpteen.
A meeting on the invite--
Best strap in for the long flight.

For a project at work we kept a dashboard of tasks, due dates, and a color status depicting how on track we were to meet the deadline. Green meant that things were on target, yellow meant that there were potential issues that would put us behind, and red meant that we had missed the deadline. My thought was that if we used the hour or so every day we spent going over the chart we could be much further along with the project. That was the inspiration for this parody. The attached document also includes the graphics that went along with the song.

(To the tune of "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones)

I see a red dot and I want to paint it black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the dots scroll by dressed in their pleasing green
I have to turn my head when red comes on the scene

I see a line of dots and they’re all painted black
With mouse and keyboard clicks, they’re never coming back
I see due dates come up fast and quickly fade away
Like a task unwritten it just happens ev’ry day

This was written for the kids to get them to eat broccoli.

(To the tune of the chorus in "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga)

What’s green and shaped like a tree
And fills our mouths up with glee?
It is that awesome veggie
We call bro-cco-li!

We eat it up for a snack,
We eat it up at our lunch.
We eat it all the time
‘Cuz we love it a bunch!

Grab that broccoli off the shelf
This is good for my own health
Baby we just eat that way!

Pop it in and chew it up
Blend and pour it in a cup
Baby we just eat that way!

A month or so ago I had a run-in with a toilet that left a small yet deep gash on my wrist.  This topic came up during our large family Christmas gathering last night and of course I was obligated to show off the still obvious wound.  (My cousin easily trumped it, though, with his missing fingernail due to doctors having to remove it after a run-in with a wood chipper broke the tip of one of his finger bones.  Ouch!)

Today, as the kids and I drove home from church, I guess last evening’s dinner conversations were still fresh as Ann asks me if my cut will ever heal.  I tell her that it’s probably a permanent scar.  “So,” she says, “when you’re playing BINGO in the nursing home, they’ll be like…”

(Ok, wait—nursing home?  I’m about to break in and ask her about that, but she’s on a roll.)

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