I cried that evening when we parted; she slipping silently into the comforting cloak of darkness while I drove away into the night bound for my empty shell of a home filled with no one and no thing except meaningless material possessions. I could still feel her presence beside me even after she left. She was sitting next to me – curled up – finally wearing the mask of tranquility after an emotional evening. What was she thinking behind those lying eyes?
What was she dreaming about underneath her steel lids? Certainly not me, I thought with grateful sorrow. I was filled with the urge to spew forth a multitude of tears in her memory, but all I managed was one, small token of grief.
You lay alone in a field of unfocused images
Welcoming, but not openly so, my cautious advances.
Swaying to a yellow beat in a world of colorization
Separated from my black and white life by conversation.
You sway back and forth gathering information
(What are my intentions?)
(What are my motives?)
The questions yet unasked remain so by procrastination.
The wet road hissed like snakes under my tires and the yellow glare of the serpent winked at me in the distance. There was no other vehicle in sight on this foggy night as I shifted into fourth gear and eased the accelerator down.
I passed a solitary speed limit sign crying its constant tired warning into the uncaring night. It read 45; my speedometer read 85. I slipped into fifth gear and the muffled whine of the engine subsided. The lone tear crept slowly down my face as the needle inched toward 100.
I saw the warning signs as I drew closer to the serpent; my headlights reflecting off its orange and yellow scales. A wave of fear grabbed me and for a moment I was scared. Doubt invaded my confidence for a fleeting instant, but before it could take over my being, I regained control. The tear vibrated down my neck and then softly slipped onto my shoulder.
The serpent grew closer until it was slithering about me wrapping me in its coils. I could see its scales glowing all around me and the hiss of its breath filled the car. An intense sorrow swept over me yet the tears would still not flow. The agonizing pressure of life crushed my head and squeezed my chest. I wanted to scream with frustration, but my voice was silent. The tear worked its way to my hand and I slowly relaxed and unclenched my fingers from the steering wheel. The serpent grinned and its quiet hiss became a roar of victory.
The life we lead is indeed a glorious one
Filled with a romance and love that is never done,
But it is a life of illusion and lies
Told by the images dancing behind my eyes.
The world we share is vivid in my mind,
But you do not see it; you are blind.
My eyes were closed, but I could see the road spinning wildly in front of me. Vicious flashes of hot and cold hit me like a cruel strobe light as my world became no more. My body split apart along the seam outlined by the trail of my tear and my essence shot free from the earthly confines of my physical body. The pressure that had built up inside of me exploded forth sending chunks of myself flying across the sky. No light reflected off these small bodies, however, and what could have been mistaken for a breathtaking meteor shower was viewed only as darkness. There was only one thing left for me to do as I sped quickly into the night sky.
Now I lay alone in a field of unfocused images
Desperately searching for the clarity of advances.
Grey has entered my black and white world
Causing the wings of chaos to be unfurled.
Painting my vision opaque,
The last advance you make
Becomes realized too late.
Dream dancer, hear me cry your name into the void and answer me not again with that frightening shriek of silence. Dream dancer, come dance with me in this pit of despair and give me reasons for this pain. Move close and smell the stench of the truth as it oozes past my lips like honey into your mouth. Drink the waste of my soul as it seeps through my porous skin and eat the cancer of my body until all that remains is the one small sliver that is me.
Do not forsake me, dream dancer, and dance into the abyss not even glancing behind you as you move away. However, such is the way it must be and such it is. One lone tear collects on my fingertip before plunging into the cold pool of death leaving my quest for peace eternally incomplete.