Chapter 1 The car, SUV, or whatever it was once was, lay on its side as if it had been a mound of dough slapped flat by callused hands then thrown against a concrete pillar. The pillar was real and seemingly unscathed—still standing proudly helping support the platform above it. But the vehicle—whatever sort it …
This parody is based on the top-polling 2016 Presidential candidates at the time of writing. (To the tune of “We Will Rock You” by Queen) Trump Trump, Jeb! (Replaces foot stomp and hand clap rhythm)Trump Trump, Jeb! Neurosurgeon Doctor Benjamin Carson,Carly Fio-ri-na and Ted Cruz You got Mike Huck-a-bee And Rick SantorumTelling Chris Christie to lay …
This parody was written for one of our team members at work when she left the company leaving behind some ongoing projects. It contains references to projects and vendors specific to our job, so some things may not make sense. (To the tune of “99 Problems” by Jay-Z) If you’re having time problems I feel …
I wrote this on my 40th birthday. If I turned forty today how would I feel? As a youth in times of Noah? As an old man in ancient Rome?Maybe I would feel “middle aged”, (As these days it’s commonly known)? If I turned forty today what would happen? Perhaps some morbid reflection; Regret of …
This parody was written after a weekly meeting that usually runs for a long time ended pretty quickly. With the unexpected time on my hands I suppose I could have gotten some work done, but instead I wrote this. (To the tune of “American Pie” by Don McLean) A long, long time ago I can …
For a project at work we kept a dashboard of tasks, due dates, and a color status depicting how on track we were to meet the deadline. Green meant that things were on target, yellow meant that there were potential issues that would put us behind, and red meant that we had missed the deadline. …
This was written for the kids to get them to eat broccoli. (To the tune of the chorus in “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga) What’s green and shaped like a treeAnd fills our mouths up with glee?It is that awesome veggieWe call bro-cco-li! We eat it up for a snack,We eat it up at …
month or so ago I had a run-in with a toilet that left a small yet deep gash on my wrist. This topic came up during our large family Christmas gathering last night and of course I was obligated to show off the still obvious wound. (My cousin easily trumped it, though, with his missing …
Ann wasn’t happy with the way William and I were haphazardly placing ornaments on the tree, so she took them all off and had us organize them into distinct groups: snowflakes, angels/Santas, colored balls, stars, hearts, snowmen, animals, etc. (The Nativity scene is always hers to place as the angel on top is mine.) Then …
Part I: Going With the Flow Three weeks ago my dad emailed me and asked if we were free the next weekend for a visit. This was exciting because my parents live in Colorado and the kids and I don’t get to see them in person that often. Our last visit was in Colorado during …
